Published on theMusic.com.au, Sept 2015
In a confusing and intriguing turn, Burger King put forth a proposal to McDonalds that would see them temporarily put aside their differences to collaborate on some kind of disgustingly delicious hybrid burger. Macca’s have said no but the whole beef mash-up got us thinking about some other highly unlikely collaborations we’d like to see come to fruition.
taylor swift/katy perry
Speaking of (Twitter) beef, we wouldn’t mind Taylor Swift and Katy Perry teaming up for a track. Love or hate either or both of them, you’ve got to admit that their combined forces would no doubt yield some sort of mutant pop earworm that could be used in extreme forms of torture. Unfortunately, after being pals for years and years, a feud began to brew – perhaps started by them both dating John Mayer in 2012 – and things continued to go south from there. If they could Shake It Off, maybe the world would be a better place. But probably not.
When it comes to arrogant actors, Chevy Chase tops the list. He’s been collecting enemies who don’t mind speaking out about his actions since he started on SNL in the ‘70s, where reportedly ticked off most of the other actors and writers. The trend continued over the years and his stint on Community even saw him piss off creator Dan Harmon. Perhaps his character on the show, Pierce Hawthorne, isn’t too far from his actually personality? While it would be nice to see him reconcile with all the people he’s wronged over the years (Bill Murray included) and appear on SNL and Community again, there’s something oddly comforting about the fact he acts that way. Think an angry Clark Griswold all the time.
The long-running feud between Adidas and Nike even has the king of controversy, Kanye West, feeling uncomfortable. West’s Yeezy branded shoes were ripped from Nike in 2013 when he signed a deal with their direct competition, Adidas, and has been trash-talking them something chronic every since. “Y’all should thank Nike because they made me make these songs right here,” West reportedly said at a concert in LA before playing New Slaves earlier this year. Just imagine the level of foot comfort that would arise if they teamed up. It’d be like walking on a cloud.
You could debate the pros and cons of Apple and Android all day long – and that’s the problem. Maybe if they paired up to create some sort of ultra smartphone the masses would stop bickering about which is better. An anti-selfie or no-recording-at-gigs function would be just swell too. Anyway, you’d be hard-pressed to find any phone that either produces that isn’t actually pretty decent these days, and anytime you feel the need to complain about your iPhone (because they suck), just think about life in the ‘90s.
Tim Armstrong, whatever we did to upset you, we’re sorry. Please tour Australia again. There’s been many a leaked festival or tour poster that falsely advertises Rancid’s glorious return Down Under, but there’s been little in the way of any real confirmation. Just tell us what you want!
tony abbott/the general australian public
Less onions, more discussions.
johnny depp/tim burton
Because there isn’t enough of these films in the world.
will anderson/adam hills
As if it wasn’t confusing enough.
While all these mash-ups would be great, there’s still no beating Always Sunny‘s Charlie Kelly’s literal interpretation of the concept. We’ll leave you with this image of Kelly squashing beef.